Happy Birthday to Me! 31 pieces of wisdom to show I am getting smarter...one birthday at a time!

I have really slacked with this blogging thing.  And in my defence it's not just about procrastination.  Sometimes I am torn whether to really put things out there- like can the universe really handle what I have to say?  But, I'm working on getting back on the blog wagon.

So, it's been just under 5 full months since I have started my "redesign" and what better day then my birthday to reflect on how/if I have been growing and changing.

Today was a day when as corny as it sounds, I sat back and thought "Wow, I'm lucky!"  There are things that I wish I had in my life, and things I wish I could change; but when I look around I see that although I have room to grow I have the best people surronding me.  I have an amazing family, fabulous coworkers and the best friends that anyone could ask for. 

One thing, of the many, I have been working on is surrounding myself with people that bring out the best in me.   And I am blessed that I have a diverse network of friends that support me in so many different ways.   

To celebrate my 31st year, I have focused on thinking of 31 things I have learned since I started this process in Feburary.  Some things I have learned the hard way, some I learned in a good way but all are things I am trying to live by.

This wisdom may be mind blowing so prepare yourself:

1.  Every time you plan to take  2 consecutive days off the gym it will take you 6 to get back there, and damn will it hut.

2.  Do not go bowling as a date night.  You will take turns bowling and never have time to actually interact, until you get a bit drunk on the Coors and inappropriatly smack your oppenents bum for getting a strike.....

3.  The Gazebo comes with pegs for a reason, ensure all four of them are in the ground before a storm comes.

4.   It makes kids stronger if you do not let them win at games just cause they are kids.  And sometimes in Mario Brothers they deserve to be left in the bubble.  If they don't like it then maybe video games shouldn't be for kids. 

5.  They say you can do anything that you put your mind to, but that is not the case in trying to jump a hurdle after 15 years.

6.  Putting a tracking device on your mom is not creepy- no matter what anyone has said.

7.  New food can be good- as long as it's not too healthy because then the chances are that it won't taste good.

8.  Don't assume everyone is judging your choices, as much as your friends love you, their world's don't revolve around you.

9.  Don't challenge a former professional athlete to any competition in the gym.  Chances are you will lose. 

10.  It's ok to need someone to talk to that is not in your inner circle.  And, it feels super good when they tell you that you aren't crazy.

11.  Whoever invented the technology that tells us when someone "reads" our messages may end up responsible for a lot of paranoia creation and breakdowns.

12.  Reading the right self-help books will help yourself.

13.  As you progress in life you realize the qualities you look for in a partner changes.  Be open minded to get to know people because you expect them to do the same for you.  You may not have to kiss a lot of frogs but you may have to go to dinner with them to find the right one.

14.  The right friends will make things fun whether 2 or 20 people show up.  Just don't cancel.

15.  Celebrate little successes.  However, celebrating 4 days in a row at the gym with a McDonalds value meal is not working!

16.  Realize that if someone doesn't agree with you, it's not the end of the world.  Well, unless it's someone important.......nope even then it won't be the end of the world.

17.  Don't let a bad day make you think you have a bad life.

18.  Just because another one of your friends is having a baby or getting married doesn't mean you won't.

19.  Get some sleep.  You can't fix most things at 1:00am so close your eyes and deal with it tomorrow.

20.  Don't be defined by your job, even if you have a super cool job.

21.  Never hit SEND while you are mad, crying, or drunk.  Just don't do it.  And, if you fail at this then don't stare at it until it says READ.

22.  Buying new clothes is not a solution to working out so you can fit into your old ones.

23.  You hate when people cancel so quit cancelling plans.

24.  A child in the house makes it a home even if it's not your child. 

25.  If you are going to have a mini crisis- find one person you can trust.  That friend will talk you down off the ledge, ensure things will work out, and calm you before you create complete chaos.  Just find the right person to use as that rock.

26.  Selling old items is theraputic, plus it buys great stuff for the backyard.

27.  Find someone who doesn't text you when they are outside when picking you up for a first date.  If that's how he puts his best foot forward the first day he wants to impress you, trust me it won't get better.

28.  Figure out WHY you cry, to stop being a prisioner to emotion.  Remember you own that emotion and don't let someone else control that.

29.  Other people can be unsure of their feelings and it doesn't mean it has anything to do with you.  Again, you are wonderful but other people have other shit going on that doesn't involve you. 

30.  As fabulous friends are, no one will ever be your rock as much as your mom.  No one else will not only love you unconditionally but will do everything they can to fix any situation to make sure you never hurt.  And, who else will be your personal alarm clock?

31.  Take it one day at a time.  When you don't have the answers just say "I'm taking it one day at a time."

Happy Birthday to me! xoxo

Taking time to enjoy life.....in photos! Day 3: Mail & 4: Someone who makes you happy!

Ok so I made sure to take my photo yesterday but was slow to the upload so I am cheating and doing two days at once!

Day 3: Mail

Nothing makes me happier than money.....or maybe some things but money is very near the top of the list.  So, the most exciting mail I can get in my Income Tax refund.  It was the smallest I have had in years but to me it's still "free" money!  I feel like when you get "free" money you should always splurge on yourself......so that is what I intend to do!  Ever since I starting to work on my crazy spending habits (and those of you who have ever gone to the States with me know what I am talking about)  I have felt guitly about money.  It's like a binge that I go on and feel remorse afterwards but you can't feel about about sending "free" money right?  

I am going to save this cheque for a special event so I can splurge and not feel guilty. 

Day 4:  Someone who makes you happy

Today I cheated a bit and used TWO people!  I honestly enjoy going to work every day and I have fun with those I work with.  I can't think of many days where at sometime in the day there wasn't a lot of laughter, a prank, or something said that should have been saved for Friday.

I don't like to pick favorite but both Tabitha and Charlee make my day.......(as long as there is enough happy pie left lol).  So, they got to be my models for today because they make my work days great- or at least let me vent when things go sideways! 

Taking time to enjoy life.....in photos! Day 2- Color

At first I was puzzled of what color would be worthy for Day 2's photo. Then during an impromptu egg decorating session with the kids I realized the decorations created by them were going to represent Day 2!







When everything is kind of drab outside in browns and oranges, Easter colora give a burst of color and reminds me to look forward to the long Easter weekend!

Taking time to enjoy life.....in photos! Day 1- Your Reflection

Ever since Courtney starting doing her Photo of the Day blogs I have been addicted to checking what her challenge is today and what photo she has come up with.  For April I am going to attempt to follow the list set out by a fabulous blogger that Court follows, and try to take the time to capture life in pictures.  These daily blogs will be short- and I will do my best to keep up daily...or every few days.

The April Photo list is:

For Day 1 I am suppose to capture my reflection.  Of course they have to give you the hardest one at the beginning because first of all it's always hard to take a photo of yourself alone and love it enough to put it out for the world, but also today was house work day so I'm not exactly well groomed!!  But,  after heading to my bathroom to attempt this photo, I read the quote that I have on my bathroom mirror and realized it would be a great inspiration for this first photo of the day.........

Leaving Reality TV and Into Reality!

So with this whole redesign of me also comes with getting my love life back on track.   I don't know what changed in dating to be so different or so hard!  Was it cause I turned 30?  Was it cause the dating world has changed because of online dating?  Was it cause I don't frequent bars anymore?  Was it cause all my friends are married so I am going at this alone?  Which ever reason it is, it's hard!

The funny thing that I realised recently is that despite me thinking I would never utter these words, I actually have something in common with the Bachelorettes on TV!  No, it isn't that we all have glittery gowns secretly waiting in our closet, or that we secretly aspire to get exposure to help our TV hosting career.  It is that at the end of the day, we are looking at dating as a competition. 

I recently realised that I just want to win.  Sometimes the person you are seeing is a great person, but are they great for you?  Or, do you want to make it the perfect person so you have conquered the dating game?  Do you go above and beyond to really win over that bachelor so that you can get the prize (?) and leave the game? 

I have realised that yes indeed I do this.  It's like I am so proud of my life- I have worked hard at my career, I have an amazing family, fabulous friends, I've been told I can spice up a party, and I have a great heart so I tend to try to force it on someone else to they will appreciate it and at the finale, he will choose me.

But, it's time to step back- and decide what I am looking for - and not try to force something that isn't even what I am looking for.  I found a situation recently that when "whatever it was" ended I was sad.  But then I sat back and said "OK Kim, what really makes you sad about not spending time with this person?"  And, I realised that if I actually went through my goals, values, interests, desires - we weren't even a match.  Nice guy, but not a match.   So, as competitive I am, I have to quit looking at the dating game as an episode of the Bachelor.  Time to pull out of the competition and focus on finding the best match not just A match.

Sorry, _______  I do not accept this rose.

How to get over over-thinking......

There are some things that seem to have such easy answers- if you are sick....go to the doctor, if you are fat...eat less, if you are tired....sleep,  if you are sad.....drink.   But, what if it's your brain?  How do you re-program it?  I pride myself on being smart, like street smart - I can figure most people out and just have this "sense" about people.  Fact is, I probably THINK I am smarter than most of you in this regrad because I truly think I have this gift. 

But, with a gift also comes responsiblity. 

My issue with my brain is my chronic over thinking.  Although I can figure things out and think rationally- when left alone with me and my brain I over think everything, get myself worked up, and self sabotage within seconds like a timebomb.  I seem to think I know what people REALLY think - or what they REALLY feel despite what they tell me.  Like if I ask you if you are thirsty and you say no, but yet I get a sense that you are a tad parched, I will not feel settled until you either let me get you a water or if you tell me to screw off.

Again, this is where audience participation comes in to play and most of you can think of where this has happened.  I mean, I never get sensative and just try to cut my loses before getting hurt further!  And I NEVER totally take a situation and assume it's a personal attack on myself.    And, I NEVER try to push someone so far just so that they step up and reassure me that everything is going to be ok.

The problem is with this habit is that I can't figure out why I do it?  Like no matter how many times I burn myself I just keep doing it.  And it makes me really think, no matter how much I improve every aspect of my life, if I keep self sabotaging and pushing great people away - will I ever end up happy?

Now, over think that!

Giving the body a tune up?

Now and then everything needs a tune up......today I decided to get my primary vehicle, my body, fully inspected in a new, unconventional way.  After my sister describing a naturopath as "a psychic of the body" I decided I was intrigued enough to check it out.  I have found that I just haven't felt great for too long.  I was sick of being sick and not really knowing why I wasn't firing with all cylinders.

After meeting with the naturopath for an hour and a half, I was so shocked by how optimistic I felt about being able to fix me, and determined to make changes she suggested.  And boy did she suggest changes.  Basically, I need an overhaul to start  fresh.   But, although giving up some things I love to eat and drink basically sucks, I am so intrigued to know what it feels like to feel good.  A wise lady once told me about changes she had made as to the foods she choices and how once she felt great she was shocked that she didn't know she could feel that good and what "normal" felt like.  I want that feeling!

So, now starts the hard part........8 weeks of making drastic changes to get me tuned up.   For all your close to me, I may be grouchy, short with you, frustrated, and I may even cheat now and then through this process.  Since I'm not famous enough to be chosen for Celebrity Rehab, I must figure out how to kick this addiction on my own.......here is to ending my food addiction!

And to all your wondering...........yes TG and I still go to the gym every day at lunch ~ not only do we burn up some calories but we have also been practising our ping pong techniques!!

Weekends In.......Boring or Maturity?

I'm a bit slow to this one as it's all ready Tuesday but just a few thoughts about this past weekend......

A few years ago, last year, hell even months ago, as Friday would start to approach it would be imperative to start making your plans for the weekend.  I would find that I would even start making my plans around the hangover that I knew I would have.   Those hangovers would be a reminder of how my body does not agree with the amount of alcohol I choose to consume and that it was  my bodies way of telling me that "last night" was not worth it!

Don't get me wrong, I had some good times and made some great memories.  Nights on the town with the Heat, and later the Gems, the Splurge girls dressed in the theme of the night to ring in a special occasion, weddings, Vegas, Just Dance competitions- it all resulted in fabulous times and lots of laughs and still does.  But, I have finally realized somethings are changing.


A night in would have previously  drove me crazy; made me antsy as to what was going on around town.  These nights in are now the nights I look forward too.  Now, the weekends that involve impromptu errand running with mom, cleaning days with the kids, movie nights in, folding laundry on a Saturday afternoon while watch the crazy Housewives of every city,  and late night basement organizing are where I find happiness.

It's one of the things I am working on- balance. Balancing that time between being on the go and the time needed for Kim Time. I always thought Kim Time was hitting the town, having some drinks, dancing....and seeing what the night would bring. But, I started to find that after all that relaxing, I was more tired than I was to begin!   

I find with how busy things are now, quiet weekends in are what recharge me, and allow me to catch my breath after a hectic week.  Having these nights in and slowing down my pace makes me appreciate my nights out and events with my ladies even more!

Now that I have learnt to appreciate both my time in as much as my time out, my next step is fine tuning my "off" switch for those nights out!  Again, those of you who know me are nodding so I don't feel the need to elaborate!    Baby steps, I'm a work in progress!

Kim Time is now so drastically different and although many people may picture my weekends and think of me as boring.....I now love my boring weekends and take pride that this piece of maturity in my life brings me new happiness!

Making Time to Sweat

I am always jealous of those who like to workout.  Those who enjoy a good run and make it a priority.  I am always baffled by those who pack gym clothes and actually work out on vacations.  As I come to the end of two weeks of being back to the gym I am finally realizing how fast things can become a routine if you make time.

At the beginning of last week I started working out with my colleague TG.  We first set a goal of going on Tuesdays and Thursdays at lunch to ease our way back into the working out and to make use of the gym we have access to at work.  Ok to be honest  TG. was easing back in, for me it was a fresh start. 

I have a habit of jumping on the fitness bandwagon.  I try something, I go all out.......for a few weeks and then I realize it's cutting into the time I could spend doing anything else and I quit.  Those who know me, or have joined a class or sport with me are nodding their head right now and agreeing that indeed I am a serial fitness quitter.   A funny thing happened last week though....I liked the gym.  I found myself liking being there, and loving the feeling I had after the workout that would keep me on an endorphin high for the rest of the afternoon.    I was finding that instead of dreading "having" to work out after work or "having" to be somewhere at a certain time after I worked hard all day, I was looking forward to our gym lunch dates.

Working out at lunch almost mentally reset me each day.  I felt fresh, alert, positive, and focused after lunch (now I only have to work on feeling like that in the morning!)  Thursday morning I was grumpy, and starting up the climb to borderline bitchy even, but off we went to the gym and I was able to sweat out all the frustration that was building up.

I think TG and I have an interesting gym dynamic.  We first do our cardio and we don't speak.  I know some people like to have work out buddies so they can visit or catch up.  But, we honestly put our earphones on as soon as we come out of the change rooms and kind of have our own quiet time.   We have even developed a way of communicating just by looks and expressions so we can have a full conversation about things going on around us without even taking our earphones out. 

Then we move to the weights portion of our workout on which ever body part that doesn't hurt the worst.  During this part we laugh alot.  I think we get a full ab workout just from laughing.  Sometimes there is more swearing (me) than laughing (TG) but either way we feel the burn.

Since our first "vow" to go Tuesday and Thursday at lunch, that turned into Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday .....and we have a date for tomorrow again.

I started to realize that I can make time for a work out- it just has to be on MY time and my time seems to be lunch!  Right now my favorite time of the day is 11:30-12:30  ~ so who knows maybe if this feeling lasts maybe I will be packing work out clothes on my next vacation........nah, let's not talk crazy!

The Start of the Redesign

So I have told myself over and over that "2012 is my year!"  and things like "This is going to be my year!"  Well, after I alot of thought I wondered......what is different about this year?  What is going to change the outcome and what is going to finally bring me the happiness that I am told that I deserve?  After a lot of thought, a few nervous breakdowns, a lot of tears, and piles of comfort food I realized that all those corny sayings you read about controlling your destiny is true.  I look back on 2011 and realize that the bad habits I had, the choices I made, and my approach to situations caused the outcomes and results that 2011 produced.

The decision I made?  Time for a redesign!  I'm not going to reinvent myself with a new job or new hobbie or follow a new fade ~ I'm going to take ME and redesign ME to take back control of ME.

Now, this is where the blog comes in.  I have tried everything under the sun at least once but I have the attention span of a monkey at a flea market....ok that doesn't make sense but once I met a monkey at a flea market so it seemed to fit.  I need to be accountable.  I need to put it out for the world to follow my journey so that I don't detour once again.  This blog will follow what works, what doesn't, and allow me to share of piece of my very complex mind.

So, cheers to 2012 being different because I am going to make it different.  Here is to a heathy, happier Kim.  Stay tuned for the Redesign of Ms. Mealing